Nothing seems all that agreeable today. I don’t know if it’s the fact that it’s Monday and Mondays are rough in general, but I feel entirely too panicky, anxious, and irritable.
I have another interview coming up on Friday. I’m not anxious about the interview itself or the road trip to get there; I’m more so anxious about the decisions I’m going to make afterwards. I have a natural tendency to question everything thoroughly and analyze all possible options before coming to a final conclusion about anything, but dammit I wish my brain would just shut the fuck up for a moment and grant me a bit of peace.
I keep reminding myself that I need to fight against these irrational waves of self-doubt that have been washing over me, but sometimes they just suck the energy right out of me and then all I can do is sit here, feeling slightly crippled and completely frustrated that I gave any regard to these deprecating thoughts.
I’m tired of worrying about the things that are out of my control.
I’m tired of worrying about the things that are going to pan out and thinking that nothing’s going to work out even though I intrinsically know that the world is not going to end regardless of outcome.
I tired of worrying and of being tired today.