February 2010
68 posts
Now You're Gonna Raise the Bar Right Up?
Nothing I write is ever good enough.
I Don't Feel All That Spectacular.
I’m hoping I just have some 24-hour, sleep deprivation-related illness thing.
I hope I drank enough last night to kill whatever germs were trying to infect my body.
I hope whatever this is is not serious.
I hope you don’t think less of me for getting sick in your bathroom this morning.
I hope my body stops hating me soon.
January 2010
49 posts
“He broke my heart. You merely broke my life.”
– Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov (via nostalgicdreams) (via justcaroline)
I Need to be 21. NOW!!
I was born in the wrong year, anyway.
Content
It’s 12:30 and I’m still tucked into my cozy bed. I got about 10 hours of sleep last night. My throat’s not sore anymore. I still have two large X’s on the backs of my hands. I had a good Friday night with some lovely people. I was finally able to see my friend Katy play. I have cash and a new t-shirt. My dad and my sister are no longer stranded in the middle of Bumfuck, Nowhere, and they’re alive...
I Get the Worst Sleep When I'm With You.
Yet, I’m perfectly okay with this.
“An artist’s only concern is to shoot for some kind of perfection, and on...”
– J.D. Salinger
RIP J.D. Salinger
You spoke to the misunderstood recluse in all of us, and made us feel better.
I have lost the motivation to do work, but I have...
“(660):
I find it sad that I can no longer sit in the back of class for fear...”
– -TextsFromLastNight
I read this during my Psych Stats class and laughed. And then it happened during my Careers in Psych lecture. I officially dislike that guy in the puffy blue coat now.
Buy some Beano, man.
thelovelylaurenelizabth started following you
macaronipony:
WUT. lol, how on god’s green earth did you find me? haha.
Bahaha I was surprised too! Tumblr, apparently like Facebook, likes to recommend people for you to follow, and after it recommended you and I read your little info blurb, I realized it was you. :)
Dear Mom and Dad,
Get to used to not having me around for awhile, because I’ll definitely be getting my PhD in Psychology, and I’m going to be in school for a very long time.
I would like for this to be groundbreaking, exciting news, but as I’ve been saying the above statement for the past year and a half, it’s not. It’s just even more adamant and determined now than it was a few...
Well, this doesn't happen every day...
It’s 10:30, and all of my most-important homework is finished. The rest of it’s semi-required reading, which is nothing at all. But the important thing is that my most-important homework is complete. This rarely ever happens, and my inner procrastinator is pretty astonished.
I have vanilla soy milk and cookies waiting for me.
I got a new job today.
I woke up at 10:00, and only had...
Why do I think of you and feel so sad? Even when you’re right there next to me, I already feel how much I’m going to miss you when you go, knowing that I will probably never see you again once you get on that plane. Why am I mourning your loss before you’re even gone? Has this been the problem? Is that why I’ve been bummed? I have such little time with you left, and I want...
Coaching
Okay, Brain, this is not cool anymore. Extremely uncool, in fact.
You’re cramped. You’re filled to the absolute brim with thoughts and questions. There are things that need to be said to people, words that they deserve to hear, words that they may need to hear. Words that, at the very least, need to be heard aloud by the thinker who controls you. These are words that will make some...
I Need to Get Out of Here. Soon.
I’m saying it here, as I have been saying it to everyone else for the past two or three years.
As I said previously, I am happy. Though there are certain aspects of my life that I wish I could tweek to make them even better, I’m quite content with the way my life has been unfolding for the past five months. Besides, nothing will ever be perfect, so I should probably stop mentally...
I Would Also Like
To cuddle up with you and smile. I would like to fall asleep in your arms and feel your chest rise up and down underneath my head. Your presence would make these past two days seem so much better.
Good thing we both like books.
I hope you enjoy napping.
I also hope you enjoy grandmas.
I Would Like
To go take a nap.
I have protested the taking of naps since I was three years old, but as I get older, I find them to be extremely restful and quite incredible, and wonder what they hell was wrong with me as a toddler that I would detest having to be put down for naptime as much as I did. Though I will stay up until the wee hours of a new morning, I greatly enjoy my rest, and become especially...
I'm Alive and Debating
I made it through the night. I survived the Gardasil reaction.
After I passed out for a few hours last night, I crawled over to my laptop and looked up the possible side effects of the shot, and learned that only 1% of people who have any bad reaction had the symptoms and problems that I had. This did not make me feel any better, and I would like to know why I had to fall into such a sparsely...
My Parents Always Told Me
justcaroline:
thelovelylaurenelizabeth:
“The only way you could ever let us down is if you let yourself down.”
I am seriously questioning the validity and honesty of this statement.
Though I haven’t messed it up yet, I am wrought with worry over the idea of one day totally ruining everything I’ve ever worked for, and destroying everything my parents have ever been proud of.
I can’t do this...
Anti-Vagina Cancer Shot?
Yeah, it’ll kill you. It’s killing me, anyway.
Though I’ve never had mono, I imagine that it feels as awful as this:
Sore throat, interior organs and muscles hurting, inability to eat, reluctance to move, shaking, and pounding migraines. I’m fairly certain that all my insides have melted and cooled into a giant, human-shaped block. Cough drops will be my meal this...
My Parents Always Told Me
“The only way you could ever let us down is if you let yourself down.”
I am seriously questioning the validity and honesty of this statement.
Though I haven’t messed it up yet, I am wrought with worry over the idea of one day totally ruining everything I’ve ever worked for, and destroying everything my parents have ever been proud of.
I can’t do this to them. I...
“It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most...”
– unknown
If You're Going to Insult Me...
…please learn how to spell. Thank you.
Lauren: 500
Idiot White-Trash Redneck: 0
“Even if things get heavy, we’ll all float on.”
– Modest Mouse
Maybe This Time
I won’t be so scared to say “I love you.”
Maybe he’ll smile, and his heart will light up the way mine does, and he won’t reject my words or think me silly or trivial.
Maybe he’ll say it back.
Lauren Has a Moment of Reflection. Ends Well.
It’s coming together now. I just feel it in my bones. I cannot predict my future, or determine what it holds. Unsure of what tomorrow will bring, but I’m okay with this unknown. I’m solid without an agenda; I don’t need to be omniscient. I can’t control my Fate, I’ll simply surrender and wait. Throw it at me, Higher Power. I will manage well this time.
Fucking Balls
I still have that bruise from my car accident in June.
Every single time I see my legs in the mirror, I can’t help but notice it in all its brown, stupid glory.
Oh hideous reminder, will you ever go away?
I love those first few seconds of the morning...
somethingintellectual:
symphoniesofabsurdity:(via mrs)
I'm Happy
Honestly, I am. I cannot help if some of my writings, posts, and musings (be they here or on Facebook) seem sad or at times fall into the “Debbie Downer” category, but I find it easier to write about what gnaws away at me or makes me melancholy than whatever is making me smile. This isn’t always the case, but for the most part, that’s the way my pen rolls. Perhaps part of...
That Which I Will Miss
-Vanilla Soy Milk -Noah the Camry -Bathtubs -Incense -Starbucks -QT runs
-My Island -Bread Co. -Steady Paychecks -Target Family -Actual Family
-Real Food -Cooking -Kristen’s Brownies -French Toast -Baking -Limewire
I Will Always Be Scared
To say “I love you.” There have been times when I’ve poured my heart out and have been completely honest with people I’ve loved about how much I care for them, and I’ve had every single word heartlessly thrown back in my face, as if my feelings meant nothing to them at all.
I meant nothing to them at all.
I just wish people could be honest with me and tell me how...
“Lord, beer me strength.”
– John Krasinski from “The Office”
I hate stalkers, and anyone who just generally doesn’t get the message.
Just how exactly did you get to be
so adorable beautiful crazy youthful?
I am so in awe of your innocent exterior, yet not blinded enough to forget the damaged interior.
I know you’d like to hide it, but
honey you can’t fight it.
It’s there, and I see it.
It’s raw, and I like it.
I just want to break right in and feel your bones and see that beautifully broken soul and...
“Look at me! Look at how healthy I am! YAY, me! I am super normal!”
I hate being poor, and worrying about how much money I can honestly, guiltlessly spend before my next paycheck or before I pay my bills. I need to make this work, and I need to make better choices. Ahora mismo.
I love you and I want to tell you.
But that Fear of Rejection steps in again, and she holds up her hand, and smiles sweetly at me, saying, “No no, sweetheart, not this time.”
God that lady’s a bitch.
Words To Live By →
God I love PeopleofWalmart.com
So bad, it’s good. So good, it’s addictive.
“If a man had as many ideas during the day as he has when he has insomnia,...”
– Griff Niblack
Let's Give This a Go
I am probably the last person who should create a Tumblr account.
When not at work or school or going out with my friends I spend a pretty big (and sad) amount of my time on the internet, particularly Facebook (the most addictive of all pro-stalking evils), when in reality I should probably make more attempts at being a productive human being who accomplishes more daily than she does currently....