Everything in Transit
Student.
Writer.
Psychologist.
Ever-Constant Dreamer.
"I hold a beast, an angel and a madman in me, and my inquiry is as to their working, and my problem is their subjugation and victory, downthrow and upheaval, and my effort is their self-expression.” - Dylan Thomas
There’s this guy in my poetry workshop that’s maybe all of 5’ 2” or 5’ 3”, and as I was standing next to him waiting for our classroom to open up I just felt like a giant. It’s still rather weird for me to be significantly taller than many of my friends, and sometimes this weirdness makes me want to apologize for my height.
“I’m sorry I obstruct your view.”
“I’m sorry if it looks like I’m running away from you - I’m just walking and I take big, fast steps.”
“I’m sorry you have to strain your neck to see the board.”
“I’m sorry I’m Goliath.”
Two of my friends have affectionately named me Gigantor, primarily because I walk so fast that I normally end up 12 feet ahead of them in public places. I don’t notice until they shout “Hey Gigantor, slow down!” as I strut along. I was always one of the Tall Girls in both grade school and high school whose height was always noted and who received stares from shorter people standing next to them. While this usually didn’t bother me I would sometimes console myself with the fact that there was at least one girl taller than me, and that at least I stopped growing after 5’ 8” and didn’t make it to 6’ (like my sister). Being that tall occasionally makes me feel like a man, and sometimes in public situations I look at my girlfriends and think:
“If a would-be assassin just walked in and started shooting up this Bread Co., I would be the only person big enough to shield and protect us. I would then be the one taking all the bullets. I would die for them and be a hero; but I would also die in the most incredible pain, and that’s one of my greatest fears.”
I think it would be interesting to see the world from the perspective of someone who’s a few inches shorter. I’ve been living in this adult body for so long that I have a genuinely difficult time believing that I was ever a tiny person, and I would not mind just having that experience for a 24-hour span of time. Sure, I would really have to stretch to reach for things; I wouldn’t see as well at concerts; and I would have to look up at everyone I talked to, but it would be something different.
At least at 5’ 5” I wouldn’t feel like a tranny. No one would ever assume I’m hiding a penis and stuffing my bra if I wasn’t as close to the average man’s height.
